Time for a heart-to-heart! As college application due dates are looming right ahead, I've been doing a lot of thinking these past few weeks. This might end up being a very long-winded post that's going to tear deep into my cluttered brain. But I mean, that's what personal blogs are for, right? I guess... you'll learn a lot more about what kind of person I am.
I'm a girl of many goals and dreams, some of which tend to be very idealistic. I take the Myers-Briggs personality analysis quite seriously; I'm an INFP. I look for the good in people—I favor peaceful relationships and helping others. I'm an introvert. I enjoy my alone time, tend to stay quiet about personal things, and like spending time with the few people whom I value the most. I'm a person who puts others' emotions and feelings before mine. I'm a listener, and I'm very fascinated by how our minds work. I'm creative, and extremely passionate about whatever I do.
However, this is where the problem surfaces. I have absolutely no idea what career path I want to take. It's not that I don't like to do anything—it's that I like so many things. I've always had an interest in art, fashion, and photography. I've dreamed of becoming a film director or an editor of a fashion magazine. For a long time, I dreamed of opening my own little café. I'm also a math nerd; I love my calculus classes, and I've enjoyed physics as well. I'm considering the computer science path, because I've taught myself some coding language and I find it fun. But, I also love teaching. I've volunteered at a local Korean school for many years, teaching elementary school kids the basics of the Korean language. When I trekked to Korea over the summer, I taught English to high school students and fully enjoyed that experience.
On top of all of these, I'm very intrigued by psychology. I loved my AP psychology class last year (despite the fact that I had a witch of a lady for a teacher, whom I have deemed a complete psycho herself). I recently watched a TV show where the main character was a psychiatrist. Of course, it was a very dramaticized and romanticized program—but it was inspiring. I'm reading One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest in my English class right now, and I can't put it down. This is an area that matches my personality type very well, too. Although it is definitely a job that's going to be harsh on me emotionally, I think becoming a psychiatrist would be so rewarding. Every day is going to be an adventure. Above pay, above stability, above every other aspect of a job, satisfaction is the most important factor for me.
So, what does this all come down to for me at the moment?
Colleges. Majors. Decisions.
I've worked diligently during my high school years. I'm still going strong with six AP classes under my belt senior year. I'm not going to lie—I'm pretty proud of where I am regarding grades and test scores and whatnot. I've encountered multiple failures, but I've fixed and learned from these mistakes. I want to apply to top schools in the country, because I've worked so hard up until now to do so. I have a dream school that I have been striving for since sophomore year.
I invested so much time these past months, researching aspects of schools that are the most significant to me. For one thing, I long to head to the East. I want to attend a school in an urban area; a large city, where there will be many opportunities and where I can have a whole new life experience (icy cold weather, come at me). I've grown up in the suburbs of southern California these past seventeen years. It's time for a change.
In college, I want to do things that I never got the chance to try before. I want to perform. I want to create. I want to build.
My idealistic way of looking at the world... my dreams, my goals, my wants—they don't just stop at careers and college.
I want to travel. Sometimes, I wish I could have a job that will require me to travel to different countries. I want to visit Japan to see the sakura trees; France, to see the lavender fields; the Maldives, for the magnificently blue waters; Santorini, for the picture perfect views; Machu Picchu, for its rich history and breathtaking landscape; Switzerland, because Heidi; Australia, because koalas.
In the future, I hope to help people with my own two hands. I've thought of joining the Peace Corps. All throughout high school, I've been an avid member of our school's UNICEF club. This year, I took an enormous step further and now I'm a member of the United Nations Children's Fund on a national level. Its mission is the reason why I first joined: to save children's lives. 18,000 children die every single day in this world of preventable causes. Every single action we take to pull that number down to zero makes a difference. When I'm older, working in the field for UNICEF would be such a worthwhile experience.
I can see myself as that so-called "career woman" for the majority of my 20's. I want to live in my own flat at one point, in a metropolis like New York City, San Francisco, or even Seoul. When I graduated elementary school, I remember announcing at our promotion ceremony that I wanted to be an interior designer. I'm going to design and decorate all of my future homes. From the walls to the furniture... I'm already excited.
If I have children, I already know what I want to potentially name my future kids. For a boy, Felix, Flynn, Jayke, or Landon. For a girl, Hazel, Heather, Jeanette, Josephine, Julianna, or Seraphina.
Yeah, I'm cheesy like that.
Yeah, I'm cheesy like that.
For those of you who have been following me for a while, you know that I've often talked about a certain person. I've liked him for a darn long time. He's definitely far from the "ideal", "perfect" guy girls usually dream of. But, he's got what I really look for. We've had our ups and downs. It's confusing—but then again, I overthink a lot. I'm idealistic in this idiotic way where I wish we could go to the same college, as he's a hard-working student, too. We both haven't been in serious relationships (as far as I know), probably because of the same reason: no time. I'm aware that I've got a whole new world ahead of me; what's the point of all this fuss? But at the moment, it's kind of difficult for me to think outside of this tight-knit community I've been living in all my life. So, for the time being, I'm just going to keep my fingers crossed. When this brutal semester ends, I want to halt this roller coaster and figure out what exactly is going on between us. Who knows?
Now, for some random dreams.
I want a cartilage piercing and a third lobe piercing on my left ear, and two auricle piercings on my right. Why? I don't know, why not?
I want to bleach my hair as light as possible at least once in my life—maybe dye the ends lavender at one point, too.
I want to go to a music festival and dance the life out of myself.
I want to go skydiving and bungee jumping.
I want to go skydiving and bungee jumping.
I want a light blue Volkswagen Beetle or a white Mini Cooper.
I think you can see where this is going.
That's a wrap! What a mouthful. I hope, through this post, you've gotten to know me a little more. Yes, I'm kind of a mess at the moment. But don't worry, I do love myself (not in a conceited sort of way). Alrighty, on to finishing these application essays.
xx
P.S. How do you like the new blog design? Changed it up quite a bit.
