Time for a heart-to-heart! As college application due dates are looming right ahead, I've been doing a lot of thinking these past few weeks. This might end up being a very long-winded post that's going to tear deep into my cluttered brain. But I mean, that's what personal blogs are for, right? I guess... you'll learn a lot more about what kind of person I am.
I'm a girl of many goals and dreams, some of which tend to be very idealistic. I take the Myers-Briggs personality analysis quite seriously; I'm an INFP. I look for the good in people—I favor peaceful relationships and helping others. I'm an introvert. I enjoy my alone time, tend to stay quiet about personal things, and like spending time with the few people whom I value the most. I'm a person who puts others' emotions and feelings before mine. I'm a listener, and I'm very fascinated by how our minds work. I'm creative, and extremely passionate about whatever I do.
However, this is where the problem surfaces. I have absolutely no idea what career path I want to take. It's not that I don't like to do anything—it's that I like so many things. I've always had an interest in art, fashion, and photography. I've dreamed of becoming a film director or an editor of a fashion magazine. For a long time, I dreamed of opening my own little café. I'm also a math nerd; I love my calculus classes, and I've enjoyed physics as well. I'm considering the computer science path, because I've taught myself some coding language and I find it fun. But, I also love teaching. I've volunteered at a local Korean school for many years, teaching elementary school kids the basics of the Korean language. When I trekked to Korea over the summer, I taught English to high school students and fully enjoyed that experience.
On top of all of these, I'm very intrigued by psychology. I loved my AP psychology class last year (despite the fact that I had a witch of a lady for a teacher, whom I have deemed a complete psycho herself). I recently watched a TV show where the main character was a psychiatrist. Of course, it was a very dramaticized and romanticized program—but it was inspiring. I'm reading One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest in my English class right now, and I can't put it down. This is an area that matches my personality type very well, too. Although it is definitely a job that's going to be harsh on me emotionally, I think becoming a psychiatrist would be so rewarding. Every day is going to be an adventure. Above pay, above stability, above every other aspect of a job, satisfaction is the most important factor for me.
So, what does this all come down to for me at the moment?
Colleges. Majors. Decisions.
I've worked diligently during my high school years. I'm still going strong with six AP classes under my belt senior year. I'm not going to lie—I'm pretty proud of where I am regarding grades and test scores and whatnot. I've encountered multiple failures, but I've fixed and learned from these mistakes. I want to apply to top schools in the country, because I've worked so hard up until now to do so. I have a dream school that I have been striving for since sophomore year.
I invested so much time these past months, researching aspects of schools that are the most significant to me. For one thing, I long to head to the East. I want to attend a school in an urban area; a large city, where there will be many opportunities and where I can have a whole new life experience (icy cold weather, come at me). I've grown up in the suburbs of southern California these past seventeen years. It's time for a change.
In college, I want to do things that I never got the chance to try before. I want to perform. I want to create. I want to build.
My idealistic way of looking at the world... my dreams, my goals, my wants—they don't just stop at careers and college.
I want to travel. Sometimes, I wish I could have a job that will require me to travel to different countries. I want to visit Japan to see the sakura trees; France, to see the lavender fields; the Maldives, for the magnificently blue waters; Santorini, for the picture perfect views; Machu Picchu, for its rich history and breathtaking landscape; Switzerland, because Heidi; Australia, because koalas.
In the future, I hope to help people with my own two hands. I've thought of joining the Peace Corps. All throughout high school, I've been an avid member of our school's UNICEF club. This year, I took an enormous step further and now I'm a member of the United Nations Children's Fund on a national level. Its mission is the reason why I first joined: to save children's lives. 18,000 children die every single day in this world of preventable causes. Every single action we take to pull that number down to zero makes a difference. When I'm older, working in the field for UNICEF would be such a worthwhile experience.
I can see myself as that so-called "career woman" for the majority of my 20's. I want to live in my own flat at one point, in a metropolis like New York City, San Francisco, or even Seoul. When I graduated elementary school, I remember announcing at our promotion ceremony that I wanted to be an interior designer. I'm going to design and decorate all of my future homes. From the walls to the furniture... I'm already excited.
If I have children, I already know what I want to potentially name my future kids. For a boy, Felix, Flynn, Jayke, or Landon. For a girl, Hazel, Heather, Jeanette, Josephine, Julianna, or Seraphina.
Yeah, I'm cheesy like that.
Yeah, I'm cheesy like that.
For those of you who have been following me for a while, you know that I've often talked about a certain person. I've liked him for a darn long time. He's definitely far from the "ideal", "perfect" guy girls usually dream of. But, he's got what I really look for. We've had our ups and downs. It's confusing—but then again, I overthink a lot. I'm idealistic in this idiotic way where I wish we could go to the same college, as he's a hard-working student, too. We both haven't been in serious relationships (as far as I know), probably because of the same reason: no time. I'm aware that I've got a whole new world ahead of me; what's the point of all this fuss? But at the moment, it's kind of difficult for me to think outside of this tight-knit community I've been living in all my life. So, for the time being, I'm just going to keep my fingers crossed. When this brutal semester ends, I want to halt this roller coaster and figure out what exactly is going on between us. Who knows?
Now, for some random dreams.
I want a cartilage piercing and a third lobe piercing on my left ear, and two auricle piercings on my right. Why? I don't know, why not?
I want to bleach my hair as light as possible at least once in my life—maybe dye the ends lavender at one point, too.
I want to go to a music festival and dance the life out of myself.
I want to go skydiving and bungee jumping.
I want to go skydiving and bungee jumping.
I want a light blue Volkswagen Beetle or a white Mini Cooper.
I think you can see where this is going.
That's a wrap! What a mouthful. I hope, through this post, you've gotten to know me a little more. Yes, I'm kind of a mess at the moment. But don't worry, I do love myself (not in a conceited sort of way). Alrighty, on to finishing these application essays.
xx
P.S. How do you like the new blog design? Changed it up quite a bit.
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In the midst of my extremely busy life as a high school senior, I'm still saving some time on this lazy Saturday to do what I love: take pictures and write up a storm. I've prepared a new style post on plaid shirts in celebration of the start of autumn (my favorite season), as well as a good ol' rant about pretty much everything.
Plaid shirts are so versatile; they're an absolute staple in my wardrobe. You can wear these shirts just by themselves with a nice pair of jeans or leggings. Plaid shirts are great layering pieces. Throw it over a simple tee, and wear a jacket on the outside. You can add more layers when it's really cold, such as a thin zip-up hoodie.
Of course, my favorite way of styling a plaid shirt is to wrap it around my waist! You can wrap it around a cute pair of high-waisted shorts and slip into a cropped or flounce top in the summer. When it's chillier, wear a loose-fitting sweater and you're good to go!
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My sleeping schedule is officially a wreck: I slept fifteen hours yesterday. I've been staying up way too late too often these days. The amount of work I have as a senior is unbelievable. Senior year is the easiest year? Lies!
Fall starts on the 23rd, and yet southern California is experiencing a horrible heat wave. Temperatures skyrocketed above 100 degrees this entire week. Seems like the weather has been irritating everybody...
I forgot to introduce you guys to my new world map watch!
I guess the simplest way to put it is that this week was the worst that I had in a while.
Confusion, disappointment, failure, exhaustion... I can't really gather my thoughts together right now. So, here are my last words before the week ends: Why care?
As they all say, when you hit rock bottom, there's nowhere else to go but up. Whenever I have bad days, I try my best to stay positive and remind myself that the good days coming.
But I'm losing patience. Happy days, please arrive soon.
xx
This past weekend, I flew over to NYC to visit UNICEF's headquarters. I'm one of the six High School National Council members this year *yippee*, so I had a mandatory training session to attend. As I've been to Manhattan before, there was no need for sightseeing (I didn't really have time to anyways). Instead, I was able to spend my free time with friends and explore the city's endless number of streets. I returned home Sunday night, and I am completely worn out. I'm so tired. So. Tired. So. So. So. Tired. My eyes keep closing during class and while I'm trying to concentrate on homework. The jet lag from Korea is still lingering; plus, traveling while I have school work stacking higher and higher is a bit of a stressful predicament.
Sigh. At least, being a busy bee strays my mind away from irritating thoughts. Well, just thinking in general. I think I think too much.
New York City, I love you.
I tried my first Shake Shack burger (yes... I'm ashamed to admit that I like it better than In-N-Out), learned of many exciting ideas at the UNICEF workshops, and realized that my longing to move to the East Coast for college is stronger than ever.
Which reminds me—what am I doing here?! There are piles of work to complete!
xx
I'm back! Not just on this lil' blog of mine, but also in California! Home sweet home. LA weather, how I've missed you terribly. I've returned from the most rewarding experience of my life.
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Love and miss you all. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
xx
Hey guys! I'm sitting in my dorm room in Tongyeong, South Korea at the moment, and the winds outside are insane. So much has happened in a matter of days that I have no idea where to start. Besides the sticky weather and lack of trash cans (honestly, why are there no trash cans here), Korea is marvelous. I'm actually not that homesick, but the past few days have been extremely stressful and tiring. Meeting (and living with) new people, teaching students who are nearly the same age as me, dealing with culture clashes... I've been overwhelmed.
Thankfully, I've got a short break right now (currently, it's a Friday night). My program members are hanging out together in other rooms, but I decided to stay alone for a bit to catch up on whatever's been going on back home and in the blogosphere. I also have to finish a speech for a Skype presentation on Monday morning for UNICEF, an organization that I am an active volunteer in. The monster is in plain sight, isn't it? Here's a summary of my first two weeks in Korea.
I flew in a Boeing 747, which is the largest one out there for carrying travelers (my father's an airplane geek). Two floors! Fortunately, I obtained a window seat. Unfortunately, the old man next to me was drunk during the entire flight.
I'm telling you, Korea is so cute. Just cute. I mean, even the water bottles are drop dead adorable.
The breathtaking view atop Namsan Tower. Seoul, you are beautiful.
I noticed that a lot of shops in Korea have something called 'ade'. It's a sweet, fizzy, lemonade-esque drink. I discovered a grapefruit one; heaven in my mouth.
I've always wanted to visit a cat café, and I finally accomplished my goal! I also learned that I have horrible allergies to cats once I started sneezing nonstop twenty minutes after entering the café. Another goal that I crossed off the list was to take a picture with a palace guard. Yay!
In memory of the sinking of Sewol.
Hongdae is one of my favorite districts in Seoul. Indie musicians perform on the streets like this talented guitarist.
My favorite place in all of Seoul: Banpo Park, next to the Han River. Every night, at eight and nine o'clock, water shoots out from the sides of this bridge along with colorful lights and music. I've visited Korea once before, and since then I've been wanting to see these lights again so badly.
My first week of teaching in Tongyeong has come to an end. I love my teaching partners! Grateful that we work well together. We're in charge of a class of sixteen high school students (twelve boys and four girls, yow) who are beginners in English. Awkwardness filled the room the first few days, but the students have been slowly opening up and I can't wait to get closer to every single one of them. I've also realized that I really love teaching.
Guess what? A thirteen-year-old in another class has a crush on me! *squeals* My partners and I have a quirky nickname for him, and he even wrote about me in his journal.
"I think my dream girl is my class teacher and Chaereen Teacher, but first Chaereen Teacher because she is pretty and cute and beautiful and second teacher is Eunice because too pretty and laugh very cute?? Hehe. So I love (like) Chaereen and Eunice. I want a dream girl is Chaereen, Eunice."
So. Fuh-reaking. Adorable. Times a hundred. A bajillion.
The view from my dorm in Tongyeong. Stunning.
*catches breath* Woo, that was a lot. I've still got two more weeks, and they're probably going to be even crazier. I'm jumping up and down with excitement, but I'm a tired wreck, too. On the other hand, I think I spent the most money on food (not ashamed). Thank the nature gods that I haven't gotten a single mosquito bite yet, nor a severe stomachache from the change in drinking water (I can eat ice cream every day with no problems, how amazing is that). I also ended up getting second piercings on both ears back in Seoul, shh!
An adventurous trip it has been so far...
xx
